dirty maggies with kurt cobain

Made this note in my phone then emailed it to myself at 7am before going back to sleep for 8 more hours. "Krist no videodisc" is my favourite thing I've ever written (a collaborative effort, thanks autocorrect). Also - I classify this as a cheese dream even though I only ate brie yesterday (I forgot about that at 7am, not the first time I've lied about eating cheese), not the requisite cheddar, but my brain helped me out by first dreaming about eating a bowl of spaghetti bolognese covered in cheese, which I have a visceral memory of stirring through 'til it was all melted and then scraping the cheesy residue off the side of the bowl at the end. Only then was I allowed to randomly dream about Nirvana.

Click here for previous celebrity cameo cheese dream research documents.

garbage girls

Maya Fuhr, 'Garbage Girls'

This is the best. My trash heap bedroom and I are working things out bit by bit, but until then I'm repping the Garbage Girl flag with enthusiasm.

cheese dreams redux

Haven't had too many celebrity cameo cheese dreams lately, I've been cutting back on the lactose and upping my Tabasco intake as a general accidental rule. My friend Alex texted me the other day about a Ryan Gosling sex dream he had, which reminded me of my own cheese dream the same night in which Bill Murray got shot in the head in my driveway.

That's literally all that happened, Bill Murray was walking to my front door and a sniper took him out. Too many fucking grassy knolls around my house. He'd brought flowers, too. ~Broken flowers~

I had a preeeetty good one last night about Johnny Depp randomly. He was super crusty and old but still festooned in fedoras as per. My skin crawled in an ok way when he tried to play footsie with me under the table with his pointed-toe croc skin cuban heeled loafers. We were talking about bowling; he said he hated playing it because everyone assumes he'll be naturally great at it but he's actually pretty average. I said "I think Jack White is meant to be pretty good at bowling" and he walked away.

He came back later though with an enormous kids book, showing it off to me and my friends. We were like dude you're 50 we get that you don't get us but we're also not 6, although you're right this book is actually a pretty good time. He went away again and was like "just wait you'll flip" and then he came running back into the empty bar (we were at a bar) and did some mad parkour, but he got too close to the electrical wires on the ceiling (#icarus) and strangled himself. Then the electrical wires blew up and his head came off. I think his fedora blocked his peripheral vision. It was a kind of a bummer.

self-portrait: a triptych

Autobio

dude don't lick my computer

I'm dogsitting for my aunt and uncle again, which always means my life takes a sharp upturn towards nirvana. Rex is ~beyond~ when it comes to cute dogs - people constantly stop in the street to pat him, coo at him, and ask about him, and I'm so blissed out I don't even mind. (Sometimes I even smile back? It's fucked.) The best part is that Rex likes living with us way more than with his actual owners. (My aunt: "Rex's home away from home. His favourite home actually". My uncle: [no comment]) Though the worst part of that is I still don't get to own him. Also, he shits in the house at least once per stay, without fail. My bad for telling him to "fuck off shit wherever I don't care" when he's scratching at my bedroom door at 5am.

P.S. I totally missed it on this blog, but I turned 21 a week or two or three ago so congrats me for keeping it all going another year. I'm the worst with facebook birthday posts, mostly because I hate the idea of them and think that if you're not gonna bother calling or at least texting someone, don't even kid yourself. Result: I stubbornly ignore the facebook birthday reminders for other people, but will heartily accept the messages I receive on my own page. Which, coincidentally, are coming in fewer numbers each year? Don't know what that's all about. I also never remember to take 3 minutes out of my day to text someone a "happy bday" (it's either that or a half hour spent crafting a monster text packed with all the expired inside jokes you can remember from the time you had inside jokes with that person), and god forbid actually calling someone. I barely answer my incoming calls from good friends. Blocked numbers - that's a hell no.

So yeah, terrible friend. I'm (sort-of) working on it. Great dog-owner though. I'll pick up handfuls of shit for those guys.

also

yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo

Yo remember me? I'm an all-nighter, bitch.

Also, Jesse from Breaking Bad apparently.

You're literally writing about fucking babies (like, "those cursed babies" not....fucking babies what?) and it's so easy but also you suck so I'mma psych you out for three days and then you're gonna watch 16 episodes of Buffy just waiting for Spike to show up and you know what?

Spike's

Not

Showing

Up

Except when he did for that one episode which you watched today and that was a preeeeettttyyyy sick episode because he removes his shirt and crawls around for a bit and it was such a good episode when he kicked Sarah Michelle Gellar in the face 16 times

16 is the number

of the day

It's barely 1am and i'm literally delirious what's happened to me

Is this the result of a

healthy

sleeping

pattern?

That is so

not

punk

rock


With love from,

All-nighters

and

Jesse Pinkman

bitch

real talk

This blog is a little over two years old now, so - inspired by Hannah-Rose of Capture the Castle's blog anniversary tradition - I filled out this Vanity Fair questionnaire like I belong in their back pages. (That sounds caustic but I'm dead serious. I belong in Vanity Fair.) Always a fun time imagining your own answers to a magazine interview and I know you do it too so don't even bother. Haven't done one of these since Myspace circa 2005; I enjoyed it almost as much as you will undoubtedly enjoy reading it.

images - tumblr, into the gloss

Clothes

Underwear Grotty Target rags. Also some Bonds and Woolies multi-pack pieces to round off my collection. Sneakers Lol why would I need sneakers. (These, however, are redonk) T-shirts Right now I'm wearing a Zelda Symphony of the Goddess merch stand score. Definite wardrobe staple. Favourite accessory My new Top Gun snapback obviously. Also, my towering gold leather Marc Jacobs ankle boots deserve a shout-out. Favourite boutiques McDonald's. Favourite print Leopard, always. Something seasonless Swagger. Jewellery you never take off A signet ring my mum gave me when I was 13. It was the first piece of jewellery my dad ever gave her, bought on a uni student's budget. The band is wearing pretty thin these days and it's got a small crack in it that pinches brutally sometimes, but it's my most precious possession for sure. #realtalk

Inspirations

Favourite discoveries Bob's Burgers. Shopping Obscene addiction to buying magazines and then not even reading them. It's fucked up. Necessary extravagance Opting in for bacon on your chicken deluxe burger at McD's. Favourite place in the world My hangover happy place is an infinite field of swooshing grass. Gentle breeze, tall blades. Didn't stop me from puking in a Westfield food court, however. Favourite charity When friends buy me food. Favourite movies Stranger than Paradise, Lost in Translation, Natural Born Killers, Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, How to Steal A Million, Some Like It Hot, Basil the Great Mouse Detective. Favourite hotel Mariko's house Who is an idol of yours Bill Murray. Favourite flower shops Little left field, but ok - my local has a pretty tasty selection but I'm also a fan of those buckets of overpriced florals in Martin Place. You can walk past those and pretend you're inside Pinterest.

Beauty products

Lipsticks My lips are literally addicted to Nivea tinted lip balm. Trying to phase over to this new tinted hemp concoction that cost 12 bucks. It's good but it just does not have the lasting power to hold up to my every-15-minutes applications. Also, $12? Please. Currently I'm back on the Nivea; I ripped through two thirds of the hemp tube in less than seven days. COLD TURKEY IS NOT AN OPTION. Mascara Anything inky and cheap. Shampoo Whatever's in the shower. Hair products Klorane dry shampoo forever. Moisturiser Rose hip oil for everything, and right now I'm on this pot of Sukin Rose Hip Hydrating Day Cream. Would recommend. Fragrance My dad breaks the dude mould big time when it comes to buying perfume and jewellery; he's responsible for many staples in both categories. Airport duty free scores include Dolce & Gabbana Rose The One and Light Blue (long since exhausted, sadly) for daytime, and Dior Midnight Poison or YSL Opium for cover of superior darkness. My favourite actually is this little bottle called 'Mimosa' which my mum picked up from some French shop around the Blue Mountains for my birthday last year. Toothpaste COLGATE MATE. Soaps Hemp store freebie - lavender, no less~ Where do you get your hair cut My bathroom sink. Home hack jobs, never change. Brow shaping Hahahahahaha Never leave home without Tobacco, H2O

Home

Where do you live Sydney, Australia. Sheets See: Underwear. China I'm super into nice crockery, just a little ~tidbit~ bout me. My mum has a raging collection I hope to inherit one day, but for now I'll stick with my student-y flea market finds. Favourite flowers Poppies, etc. Stationery Anything wood-based. Favourite gadget iPhone Favourite neighbourhood restaurants I'll get back to you when I have $ to burn on that kind of thing. Favourite drink Whiskey sour, subject to change Favourite dessert Anything available. Favourite snack Tins of chili tuna, snack-sized protein gods. Top four TV shows Girls, Workaholics, Game of Thrones, Adventure Time.

joséphine

Joséphine de la Baume, Into the Gloss

I don't know why I'm so into Into the Gloss profiles, I don't know why I'm so interested in the beauty routines of wealthy strangers, and I don't know how to channel Joséphine de la Baume on a daily basis and it's the biggest stressor of the three.

portrait of the artist as a top gun

This is what having your life together looks like. #outfitoftheday (Read more »)